Excerpts

"Her cheerfulness never revealed the effort she put forth each day just to live the life of a healthy person." [From the Foreword by Val's present husband]:

When I met Val, I was struck by her strong pride that she was born in America, and her devotion to her home and family. She looked the picture of health and energy, and her enthusiasm was infectious. Little could I have realized that under that calm and pleasant exterior, there was a continual battle going on against the ongoing effects of tetanus that would have weakened the hardiest of men.

Her cheerfulness never revealed the effort she put forth each day just to live the life of a healthy person.

...As ill as she has been for many years, she has always looked the picture of health, living an active and productive life.

I continue to marvel at her determination and tenacity to be productive and of value to anyone needing a helping hand.

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"At the onset, tetanus overcame me in two waves..."

Nearly all of us have had a tetanus shot at some time in our lives. After most injuries, a tetanus shot is routinely given, though few of us have any idea what it is, where it comes from, or why it is necessary.

At the onset, tetanus overcame me in two waves. The first wave started five days after the pencil and lead were removed from my foot. Around 6pm that evening, strange and frightening things started happening within my body. First, my jaws tightened in spasm-like motions, then my shoulders began to freeze and stiffen up. It was surreal. I felt as if I were suspended in space. I looked in the mirror and to my disbelief, my outward appearance seemed normal. How could I know that the shot itself had given me lockjaw?

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"I could sell Tupperware!..."

Being a Homemaker and Mother was my dream, but tragically I had to earn money to pay the expenses of my illness. In 1962, 1 received the only "Manager of the Year" trophy to be awarded in my distributorship during my 12 years with Tupperware. I had already earned the coveted title of "Vanguard Manager," designated by the pin I'm wearing, and was #12 Manager in the Nation. I later became an Advisor to Managers.

Priority One was survival, so I could care for my children. There was no way physically I could hold down an eight-hour-a-day job, and I didn't want to leave Joe and Trudy for those long hours. What could I do to earn money and still take care of the kids?

In total despair, I once again asked God to help me find a way.

When I awoke one morning, the answer to my question was there: "I could sell Tupperware!"

Because of my complete faith and confidence in the company and the products, I worked with Tupperware a total of twelve years. Even with this debilitating illness I became a top sales person and number twelve manager in the nation, while holding five to eight Parties a week for seven and a half years.

In October, 1965, I was promoted to the position of Advisor to Managers, and it ultimately enhanced my knowledge and ability to motivate and train others. The best part was, I no longer had to hold parties in smoke-filled homes and other hostile environments. There was another plus: A Tupperware Ford was assigned to me again. This position I enjoyed for five and a half years. By that time we had eight Advisors, close to a hundred managers, and about a thousand dealers in the distributorship. It was a critical and successful program, and working the way I thought it would.

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"If you think you're all right, you'll be all right..."

From the beginning, most doctors had simply dismissed my health problems with, "If you think you're all right, you'll be all right," an attitude most of my family, especially Jay, were all too ready to adopt. My struggle to survive was obviously an inconvenience to them, and their irritation wasn't far below the surface.

No one in the family had any inkling that this breakdown was brewing, and clearly no one had the slightest interest and curiosity in what led to it. Not one member of our family ever attempted to talk with me about it. It was as if it never happened. Their only concern was that I get back to my "normal" role of serving them and supporting the household, which I did — for eight more years.

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"I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to stand up and flip the table with all the food, drinks and silverware into his lap..."

We met at a hotel by Los Angeles airport, and went in to dinner. They were friendly, as usual. In my wildest dreams I could never have envisioned the bombshell that they were about to drop!

During dinner, they announced that my position had been eliminated throughout the company, and a new position had been created, called Division Manager. Great! I thought; finally I will get the promotion and raise promised by the VP who hired me.

A Rubbermaid Sales Rally at the Beverly Hills Hotel, California, in 1971. These boxes of new products were given to the sales force at the end of each meeting on this extensive trip.

Wrong! That new man who didn't know how to interview a candidate got the new position — and was now to be my boss! He would take over my experienced and well-trained sales force, including me with no sales force of my own. That left me with no company, no job, no car, no home! I was demoted to the level of my current managers, which meant I would be an independent contractor, as this man had been — that is, if they intended to let me stay on at all!

This news was so overwhelming, I almost passed out. Excusing myself, I went to the ladies' room several times before the evening was over. Nothing in my whole lifetime had ever devastated me like this. Not even the tetanus. When I had the breakdown Christmas night in 1968, I passed out, but I was awake through all of this, and fought hard to keep from collapsing.

One of the men put his hand on my hand, and with a nauseating attempt at affection, said, "Now, Val, haven't I always been your friend?" I sat there a few seconds, looking at his smug smile, then down at his hand on mine. I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to stand up and flip the table with all the food, drinks and silverware into his lap. Instead, I carefully and deliberately took his hand off mine and firmly placed it on the table.

"No! you've never been my friend! You think this is going to make me quit, but I'll tell you, I'm not quitting, and you can't fire me because I'm too good! I'm staying with this Company until you are gone. Then I'll quit — and not a day earlier!"

So much for my promotion! That was not just Bitter Pill #4: I had been force-fed the rest of the bottle.

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"People are not talked into leaving a company..."

I joined Rubbermaid Inc. in 1972, as Sales Development Manager for the Western Region in the Party Plan Division.

Even though I liked the bosses and the people, I finally had to leave because of the enclosure and lack of light. I tried other companies, but eventually formed my own recruiting company, and continued with it until 1989.

The executive recruiting position plays an important role in our society. Good people are not usually reading the want ads on Sunday. The key is networking, finding people who are both qualified and looking to make a move.

One thing I discovered is that people are not talked into leaving a company. They have already made the decision to leave. If they are happy and secure and are appreciated by their bosses, they can't be pulled out. Conversely, if they are not reaching their potential, they can't be talked into staying.

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"Withholding secrets inside a family can only create walls of anger and resentment for the family members, and bafflement for the one excluded."

Withholding secrets inside a family, when that person has matured, can only create walls of anger and resentment for the family members, and bafflement for the one excluded.

No wonder Mother said the family would break apart when she died. She knew how much pain, humiliation and anger that my birth and continuing existence had brought the whole family.

Had she or any of my family cared enough to be truthful, I would have been spared years of pain, trying to figure it out while walking among my family on islands of ignorance.

I do believe the truth can set you free.

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"Val, you won't have to find him — he will find you!"

...the VP told me, "Val, you have to marry a man who is a leader of men , tops in his field and totally confident in his own right, because you would intimidate an ordinary man; not by what you say and do, but by what you are."
"Great," I groaned. "Now where will I find him?"
"Val, you won't have to find him — he will find you!"

We spoke of our roots, he from England and I from Arkansas. I explained how grateful I felt that I was born in America. He was startled. "You are the first person born in America that I have ever heard say they were proud to be born here; I've only heard complaints."

I laughed, "Of course, Americans complain because our constitution gives us the right to complain about everything from government to taxes, and we do it very well. However, when the chips are down, we unite to defend our country and our constitution."

From the beginning we had a mutual respect, and a growing friendship developed.

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